I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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