i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
