Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
