I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
