Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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