Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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