Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
