Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
