and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
