Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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