Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
