you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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