It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
