Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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