Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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