In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
