Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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