I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
