Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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