I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
