she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
