My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
