WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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