He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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