I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watching her eat just hurts me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
