Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
