nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
