remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
