Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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