Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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