i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How does one acquire holy water?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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