I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
