May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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