She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
