See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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