I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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