Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
