Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize