His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
