Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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