After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
