how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
