He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
