I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
