Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
