Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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