You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
