actually, I'm a sock model
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
