i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
