Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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