if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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