so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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