i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
