In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize