I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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