just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
