I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
