at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
